Imagine this: you’re in a room that is warm and inviting, with soft lighting. Someone who is really attentive sits across from you. The marriage and families therapist is a magician.

Therapy is a multi-faceted profession. The therapist is part coach and part detective. Imagine yourself in a heated disagreement with your spouse, about whose time it is to empty the trash. Suddenly your therapist intervenes like the umpire in a baseball match, calling for a break before things become too chaotic.

In one minute, you’re decoding cryptic emotive messages coming from your spouse. In the next moment, you’ll be guided through family dynamics so complex that even Shakespeare would have a hard time understanding them.

You can think of families as puzzles. Each puzzle piece is unique in its shape and colour, but when put together they create an overall picture. You can’t see anything but jagged edges when you are working with a therapist.

For a minute, let’s discuss kids. Has anyone ever attempted to reason with a teenager before? Try nailing jelly on a wall. It’s amazing how therapists can bridge the gap between generations. Parents can relate to the teenage frustrations and vice-versa.

I was once told by a friend about the first time she had a therapy session with her own family. Her description was that it was similar to peeling onion layers by tears. Although it wasn’t an easy task, by the time they finished, their relationship was stronger than ever.

Then what? If you are sceptical, it’s possible that you’ve only heard horror stories about therapy or thought it was for other people. You don’t have to believe me. This isn’t some mysterious, TV-show type process. The real world is grounded in science, empathy and reality.

Imagine you are walking into therapy and feeling as if the weight of everything is upon your shoulders. At the end, you may have released some old baggage and acquired new strategies to cope with life’s unexpected curveballs.

Although it would be nice, therapists don’t possess magic wands. It’s not magic wands that therapists have (though they would be cool).

What about the old adage that Rome is not built in an hour? The same goes for relationships and families. These relationships and families require time, effort, and patience.

While we’re here, let’s dispel another myth. The goal of therapy is not just to fix what’s wrong; it also involves strengthening the good. You can think of therapy as an upgrade for your relationship–fixing problems and adding new features.

Imagine building your house without a plan. There would be walls and doors everywhere! Your therapist will provide the necessary blueprint to help build stronger foundations for your home and a more harmonious environment.

Even humor is important! Laughter can be the best medicine. Telling jokes while having a serious discussion will lighten up the atmosphere and make everyone more tolerant.

A “hooray” moment is when suddenly, everything starts to make sense. They do this by asking you questions that will make you consider yourself and your relationships with others.

It’s like Gandalf taking Frodo on Middle-Earth, but without any of those annoying orcs.

Don’t sneer at someone who mentions family or marriage therapy or assume they have gone crazy. They might be using it to help keep their ship from sinking in stormy waters.

You can’t help but be human when it comes to relationships.